


A Reason To

by jessi_08



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-19 20:40:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14245314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessi_08/pseuds/jessi_08
Summary: Tobin knew it wasn't working with Shirley, but breaking up with her proved to be a lot harder than she thought it would be.





	A Reason To

Tobin couldn’t stand to look up at Shirley, the woman had tears trickling down her face. They had been fighting all morning, since the moment Tobin walked in the door to their apartment. Tobin knew she had to break everything off with Shirley, it just wasn’t working. However, seeing the woman cry, the woman breaking in front of her, it was more than Tobin thought she could handle. Tobin just wanted to comfort her and tell her everything would be ok, but she didn’t want to make things worse. 

“I can move to the states, I’ll join the league,” Shirley said and Tobin shook her head. 

“Shirley, don’t. I want you to stay here, it’s not about the distance.” Tobin explained, looking down at her hands as she leaned forward on her knees. “It’s not the distance.”

“I can move! I know I said I wasn—”

“Shirley… it’s not that,” Tobin said, looking up at her. “It’s not the distance.” 

“I’ll think about kids!” Tobin sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. 

“God, Shirley it’s not that either. We just aren’t working out….” Tobin could feel her own tears burning behind her eyes. She loved Shirley, she really did. They had countless memories together and most of them were good. “I just… I can’t do this anymore.” 

“Why?” Shirley looked over at Tobin, her eye mascara blurred down her cheeks. Tobin sucked in a breath, she didn’t know how to explain things. She also didn’t want to say anything that would just cause Shirley more pain. 

“Tobin, what changed?” Tobin wanted to walk over to Shirley and hold onto her, try to take the inevitable pain away. She stayed where she was though. 

“It’s just not working Shir,” Tobin sighed, Shirley narrowed her eyes at the woman. 

“No, you need to tell me what’s going on. You can’t just throw away everything we have because you have a gut feeling. We’re not kids anymore Tobin.” Tobin sighed, closing her eyes. 

“Shir.”

“Did you cheat on me? Is there someone else?”

“Shirley… please.”

“If this is really over then just give me a damn reason Tobin!” Shirley shouted and Tobin felt her throat tighten as sadness and guilt overwhelmed her. “I don’t even care if you lie! Just…” Shirley sat down on the couch next to Tobin. “Just make me hate you.” 

“I slept with Christen…” Tobin whispered she could hear the air leaving Shirley’s lungs as if she had been hit by a truck. It wasn't exactly a lie, but it wasn't the full truth either. Shirley was looking for a good reason to hate Tobin and that was the only thing she could think of. 

“Ok,” Shirley said quietly. The two sat in the quiet of the apartment for a few minutes, listening to the busy Paris streets below them. “Do you love her?” That caught Tobin a bit off guard, she had feelings for Christen and they had only grown in the last few months, but was it love?

“I might…I didn’t want to think about it, till… till I told you,” Tobin said honestly and Shirley nodded. 

“What do we do now?”

“What?” Tobin asked. 

“Where do we go from here?” Shirley asked and Tobin shook her head. 

“I don’t know.” 

“I have to let you go… and if you love her… I have no chance. I don’t know if I can be friends right now.” The way Shirley was acting Tobin wondered if the woman had even bought the lie, or if she knew it was Tobin just giving her a way out. 

“I get it,” Tobin said, looking over at Shirley. “I’m sorry.”

“So am I.” 

“I’ll see you in a few months…”

“Yeah…” Shirley said she didn’t stop Tobin as the woman got up and left. Tobin walked out into the hallway, dropping her bag at her feet when she was a few doors away, she leaned against the wall, holding back a sob. Tobin stayed there, trying to collect herself for a few minutes, knowing that just down the hall Shirley was doing the same, she had to resist the urge to go back and try to fix it. It just wasn’t something she wanted to do.

Tobin picked her bag back up and headed to the elevators, calling the airlines to get a flight home. 

x-x-x

Christen picked up after the first ring, even though it was nearly two in the morning in LA. 

“Hey,” she said softly, and Tobin had to fight another round of tears. 

“Hey, um… I’m in Atlanta, I’ll be landing in LA in the morning… can you pick me up at like seven?” Tobin asked, hearing her own voice crack multiple times as she spoke. 

“Yeah, I’ll be there,” Christen promised. “Are you ok, Tobin?” 

“No, but I will be.” Tobin hung up, burying her face in her hands, she turned her phone off as the plane started to take off. 

x-x-x

Christen didn’t say anything as Tobin walked up to her. She smiled sadly at her before taking her bag. Tobin looked up at her gratefully. Christen just smiled and linked their hands together as they walked back out to her car. 


End file.
